Ok, so after years of dancing with danger, I wondered if anyone else found the same perils under their innocent showerhead? It all sounds so simple and easy, and the end result does leave you feeling great!!  However, taking a shower is a minefield of confusion and danger that requires the utmost concentration, ESPECIALLY 1st thing in the morning.  Here’s why;

1-How many times have you put shampoo on twice because the bottles are similar?  The resulting bafflement as to why there is still foam in your hair when you swore you’d rinsed all the shampoo suds out can be enough to tax even the most intelligent of us.  It also makes us run late.

2-In relation to point number 1, how many of us have washed our bodies down while letting the conditioner absorb in, only to find we forgot to put it on?  For those like me on a tight time schedule in the mornings, this throws everything out of the window and a generally become extra flummoxed with having to make the decision ‘Have I got the time to put it on now? Will my hair dry to a straw-like consistency if I don’t?’

3-The awful moment when you do the ‘quick-shave’ and nick yourself.  When I say ‘nick’, I mean letting torrents of unending blood burst free from your veins (through one tiny hole) until your bathroom resembles a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

4-This happened to me as recently as a few days ago.  Lathering yourself with what you think is shower lotion, but is actually bubble bath-yes, they’re made by the same company, the liquid inside is even the same colour, BUT one will leave your skin silky smooth, while the other leaves you dry and itchy and feeling like a dumbass.

5-Ok, my biggest beef with showertime.  All showers should have a warning attached to them regarding this issue, and I’m writing this to spread awareness.  Whatever you do,  when turning around with your head under the stream of water…KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN! The minute you close your eyes, the whole world goes topsy turvy!  I’ve nearly had many a tumble in the shower from closing my eyes during a quick spin. DO NOT try this out!!

So anyway, tomorrow is shower day for me.  I will do my best to be as vigilant as possible at 05.30am, but the shower is a cruel mistress!! She will do her best to make me late for work! 

Wish me luck!


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